Following the Red Thread

Whatever you do, or dream you can, BEGIN IT.

Boldness has genius, power, and magic in ti.

Begin it now.

~Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

The story of how we found Annabelle begins in the summer of 2010.  I met a tiny child with sky colored eyes.  She was my sister-in-law Tammy's foster child.  It was becoming likely that her mother's parental rights would soon be terminated.  I wanted to be her mother, but before we could even begin the licensing process, she was moved to a family who was willing and ready to adopt her.  Her name was Sarah, and she was a small and serious 2 year old.  She loved Doritos, books, and pictures.  She wanted Tammy to wash her hair in the big sink, like she saw Tammy do for the ladies who came to her salon for a new hairstyle.  I remember how sweetly she said "rockabye" when she wanted to be cuddled and comforted.

I would have read to her and rocked her for hours.  We would have slowly walked to the library or to the park, exploring as we went.  We would have planted seeds and picked flowers, but it wasn't to be.  I think she came to make me ready, but who can say.  While driving home from Price with John, Sarah was on my mind and on my heart.  I remember a Still, Small Voice asking, "Could you love this child?"  YES.  YES, I ALREADY DO, and as I formed the reply in my head, I turned to see a passing car with a bumper sticker that said "God believes in you".  This was a tipping point for me, because not only was I in the midst of a crisis of faith, I was also walking down a path of failed fertility treatments.  And so, I turned toward the open window of adoption and let the Light in.