July

I-800a Approval 7/24/2012

Dossier almost ready!

Room almost done!!

Finding Annabelle

This is the first photo I saw of our daughter.  It was June of 2011, and I was looking into international adoption, with an eye towards programs in Columbia and Ethiopia.  All God's Children Int'l had sent us some literature.  When I looked at their fees, I thought surely this kind of adoption was for the wealthy.  Still, I visited their webpage often, and although my intent was to adopt an infant, my heart was pulled to the older children.  I love the school age children in our family, with their big ideas and developed personalities.  It seemed an imbalance to me that so many parents wait years for a healthy infant, while wonderful little kids wait...and wait...

I was struck by the intensity of her gaze.  AGCI called her Megan, and I learned that she could not walk.

A couple of weeks later, I found Rainbowkids, which advocates for the children around the world that wait for adoptive parents, either because of health issues or this or that.  It wasn't long before I saw her again.

Soon I was looking at her every day, she had found a home in my heart.  I wanted to be her mother, but I had these doubts, but there would always come clear Answers.
"She uses a wheelchair."
So what?
"How will she get around the house?"
How does anyone using a wheelchair get around?  On wheels.
"The house isn't set up for a wheelchair."
The halls are wide, the doorways are wide, fix what doesn't work and make it work.  Make a ramp.  Your husband is handy.
"I don't know how to help a child with a disability."
Yes you do. I'll show you.
And on and on.  I started thinking about friends I knew who used wheelchairs, and the independent and satisfying lives they led.  I was thinking, and I was praying, though I didn't realize it at the time.


I asked for her file, and Wasatch Int'l Adoptions contacted me with her medical information and photos.  A coincidence?  This little adoption agency in the same state has her file?  Wasatch said there were videos of Megan somewhere with an organization called Love Without Boundaries, and they would try to figure out where to find them.

Meanwhile, I shared her with John.
I asked him to pray about it, and he did.  This had not been a normal day to day part of my language.  I am not an especially religious person, and yet I had developed a day to day dialogue with Jesus about this child.


John felt like this was our daughter, and so did I, and after searching the keywords Megan China Adoption Love Without Boundaries, I got a hit that sounded just like Megan, only the name by which this child was known was Annabelle.  This is what I found:
http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=10150161149831802
Then I had a good cry and waited for John to come home from work so I could show him.  Then I found this one:
http://www.lwbcommunity.org/?s=annabelle&submit.x=29&submit.y=9

Isn't she beautiful?

Following the Red Thread

Whatever you do, or dream you can, BEGIN IT.

Boldness has genius, power, and magic in ti.

Begin it now.

~Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

The story of how we found Annabelle begins in the summer of 2010.  I met a tiny child with sky colored eyes.  She was my sister-in-law Tammy's foster child.  It was becoming likely that her mother's parental rights would soon be terminated.  I wanted to be her mother, but before we could even begin the licensing process, she was moved to a family who was willing and ready to adopt her.  Her name was Sarah, and she was a small and serious 2 year old.  She loved Doritos, books, and pictures.  She wanted Tammy to wash her hair in the big sink, like she saw Tammy do for the ladies who came to her salon for a new hairstyle.  I remember how sweetly she said "rockabye" when she wanted to be cuddled and comforted.

I would have read to her and rocked her for hours.  We would have slowly walked to the library or to the park, exploring as we went.  We would have planted seeds and picked flowers, but it wasn't to be.  I think she came to make me ready, but who can say.  While driving home from Price with John, Sarah was on my mind and on my heart.  I remember a Still, Small Voice asking, "Could you love this child?"  YES.  YES, I ALREADY DO, and as I formed the reply in my head, I turned to see a passing car with a bumper sticker that said "God believes in you".  This was a tipping point for me, because not only was I in the midst of a crisis of faith, I was also walking down a path of failed fertility treatments.  And so, I turned toward the open window of adoption and let the Light in.